


Dinner with a stranger

by Fictropes



Series: 25 fics advent [5]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Christmas, M/M, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:41:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27700168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fictropes/pseuds/Fictropes
Summary: @amazingphil hi! second year of doing this, sooo if anyone has nowhere to go for Christmas dinner I am once again offering..my flat (and by extension me) ;o
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: 25 fics advent [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2022262
Comments: 21
Kudos: 109





	Dinner with a stranger

**Author's Note:**

> two fics today cos i am unexpectedly busy tomorrow!!!!!!
> 
> based on this prompt by @finalfeud: oh oh oh phil is a small youtuber and tweets out “if anyone in london doesnt have any christmas plans u can come celebrate at my flat” and dan comes!!!

@amazingphil hi! second year of doing this, sooo if anyone has nowhere to go for Christmas dinner I am once again offering..my flat (and by extension me hehe) ;o

-

He’s late, so horrendously late. He’d talked himself out of going five times, stood in front of the mirror for too long fiddling with a curl that wouldn’t behave itself. He eventually settled on being late was better than not going at all.

He just— he wants to feel something.

He wants warmth, he wants laughter, he wants to spend the ‘happiest time of the year’ feeling something other than his own misery. His own family have jet off somewhere nice and hot, offered to bring Dan along but it was halfhearted— an invitation that was designed to be rejected.

So he’s here, struggling to get an uber because it’s Christmas Day and there are too many people in London who need someone to take them to their actual family. He thinks there’s probably one bus running, but it’s something like every hour and for some reason standing there waiting for it feels more depressing than anything else about today.

He makes a choice, makes a choice as he locks up his flat and sees the streets are, more or less, bare. He runs, runs faster than he had the one time he swore he was being followed by an eldritch monster. Though he was partly intrigued by that, the idea of something interesting happening to him somehow outweighed the fear of being eaten— or whatever.

The hair he’d spent so long forcing into something resembling neat morphs itself more and more into a bird nest with every step. The coat he'd worn to look cool comes off because he’s sweating, and he doesn’t want to turn up looking insane and smelling like he’d taken a dip in the sewer on the way over.

He thinks he’s bright red by the time he gets there, wheezing and struggling to force out a hello after he knocks on the door of the man who probably thought he was going to spend his day with nice people.

“Sh— Hi, hello. I’m—god.” He’s doubled over, a hand pressed up against the brick wall. He wants to look up but his nose has started running, and maybe if he just stays here the guy will think he’s a Garden Gnome.

“Hi.” He sounds cheerful, in a way that Dan doesn’t understand but is suddenly very grateful for. If a wheezing, snotty, late man was stood on his doorstep he might not have the same reaction.

“Dan, right? I thought you’d changed your mind, but now I get it! What with you being god and all, had a busy day?” He giggles, reaches out to pry the leather jacket from his hand. “I’ll just go hang this up, come in whenever you’re ready.”

And he goes, just like that, leaves Dan half dead in the doorway and— he just turns his back like Dan’s not fully got the vibes of someone who could be a murderer. He takes a second, a second to catch his breath and a second to be disgusting and wipe his nose on his sleeve.

He can hear Phil in the hallway fighting his coat stand, muttering beneath this breath about how his coats need to behave and stop being so big and bulky and furry. It makes Dan smile, makes him think he made the right decision to run through London on Christmas day.

Dan joins him in the hall after a couple of minutes, when he finally deems himself alright enough to be perceived. The flat is silent, all he can hear is Phil’s footsteps going towards the door and the sound of his wildly beating heart. He’s that late, late enough that everyone else has left.

“I can go, if you’re—like. If you’re done? I’m so sorry, I didn’t realise I was—“ He pauses to check his phone, sure his eyes pop out of his head. “Fuck. I’m six hours late.”

“It’s fine.” This Phil just waves his hand as he disappears into the other room, followed by a shout of, “I have leftovers!”

Dan follows behind him, takes in the scenery. For a starter this flat is fucking huge, London renting is an impossible task and Phil has apparently hit the jackpot. Maybe Dan should jump into the whole small youtuber game, surely theres a niche out there for guys who like to cry and discuss candles in incredible detail.

“You coming? I know my decor is amazing but your dinner is way past the point of cold.” Dan is coming, but he’s also exploring. It’s way more decorated than his own place, shelves littered with knick-knacks, a big fluffy rug down that Dan almost trips over— being late and faceplanting probably isn’t the best first impression to make.

He’s not even thinking about all the photos around, filled with smiling faces— filled with people who obviously love each other. Phil clearly has somewhere to go, people to be with, but instead he’s doing this.

“Hi, sorry, I’m so nosey.” Dan pops his head around the door and— yeah, it’s empty. There’s just a sink-full of washing up, some pulled crackers littering the table and the most beautiful man he’s even seen in the middle of it.

He'd seen his profile picture, watched his youtube videos, but nothing could’ve prepared him for Phil Lester in the flesh. He just omits this warmth that’s impossible to ignore, Dan wants to go towards it, give into the overwhelming urge he has to just be held for a while. He doesn’t though, cos that’d be proper weird— but he does has a feeling Phil would let it happen.

“It’s fine, same. Everyone says i’m a magpie, I see something shiny and it takes over. Someone could probably polish some dog poo and i'd be like oh, wow, I love it.”

“Don’t reveal all your weaknesses, I might be here to steal that Totoro I saw out there on the shelf and now I know how to distract you.”

“You bought some dog poo with you?” Phil frowns, but it’s a really terrible frown because his lip is twitching up the side and his eyes are bright with— god, they’re just bright.

“Obviously.” Dan deadpans, pats his jean pocket and maybe gives Phil a little wink. “Take some everywhere I go for like.. stealing purposes.”

“Well you lose cos I’ve already stolen your leather jacket, make a fortune selling that to my next door neighbour.”

-

Leftovers was a lie, Phil has gone above and beyond— it’s honestly enough to make Dan tear up, enough to make Dan wonder where Phil has been all his life.

  
“You said you were vegan, right? I—erm, I just thought you wouldn't want to eat only potatoes and vegetables.” He sounds nervous, scratching at his wrist and avoiding making eye contact even though Dan is desperate for it.

“Yup, i’m the one at the table who likes to be awkward.” Dan laughs, always making excuses for it because he still gets the looks, the why did you even bother turning up.  
  


“No.” Phil answers immediately, and he sounds like he means it. “That’s— it’s your choice. It’s not awkward, its— fine. I just wanted to make you something so I went out and got this nut roast.” He doesn’t make it through the word nut with a straight face, struggles to finish his sentence and it’s so— he’s so fucking endearing.

Dan could sit here all day and just listen to him speak, watch the expressions that flit so easily onto his face— watch this man be unguarded with him. He feels unworthy of it almost, someone else should be sat here eating up all this delight (and nut roast).

“Sorry for apologising for my veganism, it’s a defence mechanism. Feel free to bop me on the head with the nut.” Dan hides his smile behind his hand, but Phil doesn’t— he laughs loud and unbidden. He makes Dan feel bigger than he is, funnier than he is, more worthy of being unashamedly happy.

It’s been fifteen minutes and Dan is already fucked.

“I will get you with my nut, don’t you worry.” Phil buries his head in the oven, or close enough. “Sorry.” He hears it echoing around the inside, and that does make Dan lose it. He can feel tears on his cheeks, can feel his heart doing something— something that feels an awful lot like falling.

“I feel like I should come put you in there for that, cook you like in Hansel and Gretel.” Dan gets out when he’s finally done, when he feels like he can speak without falling straight back into hysterics. “Do you think eating people counts as like… do you think it’d be vegan?”

“No.” Phil’s darting around the kitchen now, making up a plate of food for Dan— even though he’s really not hungry, even though he’s now strictly here for the company. “I am like pure meat. Did you not see my bulging muscles when I opened the door?”

“I was too busy dying in the entryway, if we’re being honest. I ran all the way here.” He mentions, because he suddenly needs Phil to know that he went to such an extreme. That he was so desperate to be here that he did an actual exercise.

“Wow.” Phil joins him with two plates, and something tells Dan that Phil is only eating so Dan doesn’t feel awkward about being the only one— about eating alone. “I’m actually honoured, no one has every done sports for me before.”

Dan can feel his leg jiggling, all this nervous energy about impressing the man on the opposite side of the the table. He wants to list all of his achievements, bust out his degree— spell any word Phil wants him to spell. He’s just desperate to impress, and that probably means something.

“I feel like everyone should be doing the Phil olympics.”

“The main events would be—“ Phil clears his throat, puts on his best announcer voice. “Standing in the shower for the longest, digging the most pieces of popcorn out from the sofa cushions, who can embarrass themselves the best in public and, of course, sleeping really well.”

“I’m good at the last one, I slept through like five alarms and ended up being six hours late.” Partly that, partly the fear of the unknown— honestly he’s just so fucking glad he’s ended up with Phil all to himself.

“Then you are the first winner!” Phil cheers, waves his fork in the air in lieu of tiny flag. “I don’t have any medals, but I can give you the last piece of cake.”

“Is it Christmas cake?” Dan’s really trying to stop the ungratefulness from shining through, but he can’t help the way his nose wrinkles.

“Ew.” Phil balks, and Dan’s just immeasurably glad they’re on the same page. “Taste like arse, and not even in the fun way.” And then he pulls that face again, the face of someone who knows what they just said was something that should maybe not have said.

Dan just snorts around a forkful of potato, doesn’t think about the fact Phil finds eating someone out a fun activity— going down that line of thought is properly dangerous when all his brain is going on about is how pretty Phil is.

“It’s just not nice, like, it feels like a punishment cake. It’s so dense that I fully believe you could knock someone out with it.” It sort of sounds like a threat as he says it, like he’s going to leave and come back with concussion cake for Phil. He doesn’t care, though, cos it makes Phil laugh and that’s now Dan’s favourite hobby.

-

  
“Fuck, your nut was good.” Dan groans, pats his tummy where it feels heavy beneath his overly fancy-i’m-trying-to-impress shirt.

  
  
“Nooo, shutup! That sounds so bad.” But he’s giggling, his tongue poking out from the corner of his mouth in a way that only makes Dan want to grab him and hold and— just never go home.

“You started it! You spoke about your nut inside an oven which is actually somehow worse.” Dan bumps their feet beneath the table, goes all full on dimples when Phil starts a game of footsie.

“Ekkk! No, that’s not fair— no. Your feet are bigger than mine, you heathen.” It ends when Phil starts getting a bit too into it, when his elbows get involved and he smacks a bowl of gravy off the table.

“Phiiiiiil.” Dan squawks, bats him away when he tries to clean it because he’s the guest and the guest should obviously clean up the gravy.

He can feel him teetering awkwardly behind him, desperate to jump in and help. He tries to drop down to the floor a total of twice, Dan uses his free arm to block it— battles Phil’s knees.

“My mum is going to kill me for this. She’s going to sense i’m making a guest tidy.” He does give up though, just stares as Dan cleans and maybe Dan does a few unnecessary hip wiggles.

When it’s over, when Dan has a dirty rag that he threatens Phil with, chases him around the kitchen with filthy floor gravy, he asks what he’s been meaning to ask all night. “Why do you do this? I mean, not being nosey, but I saw on the way in that you’ve got a million photos in the hall of you being with, I assume, your family.”

Phil just shrugs, like what he’s doing isn’t an amazingly kind thing. “They went away one year to Florida and I had commitments here so I couldn’t go, basically spent my Christmas entirely alone whilst they were in an entirely different country. I realised how much it sucked, realised that people went through that every single year, so, I thought maybe I could help.”

“Thats— you realise how fucking lovely that is, yeah?” Dan asks, because he really, really hopes Phil knows— knows that he’s a properly special human being.

“I mean, I don’t do it every single year, i’ll probably do it one year on one year off. I just—“

Dan butts in, has to. “Oi. No, no, no. You’re not downplaying it, ok? It’s great.”

“Ok.” Phil smiles shyly, but manages to maintain eye contact this time— his cheeks turning a pretty shade of pink for it. “Thanks, Dan. I’m really, really glad you came.”

“Me, too. And not to be a selfish dick to everyone else, but i’m glad I got you to myself.” He’s going to do it, make his move, shoot his shot cos it’s Christmas and Phil is sort of looking at him like he finds him at least passably attractive.

“Oh?” Phil tilts his head to the side, looks at Dan, now, in a way that’s a bit more than passable. “Same. Glad you’ve picked up on the fact I flirt via talking about my nut.”

“Oh my god.” Dan collapses against Phil’s table, giggling into the crook of his arm because how is this his day? How has he managed to trick this guy into liking him— flirting with him.

“You keep talking about yourself? I know you’re god and that is great but—“

“Phil.” Dan lifts his head, curls all wild as he peeks out. “Do you wanna get dinner one time? Something that doesn’t involve any nuts.”

“Yeah.” Phil grins. “I’d love to.”

**Author's Note:**

> [if you wanna reblog on tumblr! i always appreciate it:) ](https://fictropes.tumblr.com/post/635692512048300032/dinner-with-a-stranger-complete-2597)
> 
> as alwasy lemme know what you think!
> 
> and there will be NOOOO fic tomorrow!! <3


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